Rebuilding: Finding purpose again when your path gets shaken
How God used the fire to refine you into something stronger.
Aloha mamas,
Welcome back to Dreams, Dirt & Grace and Part 8 of our Through the Fire series. So far, we’ve walked through surrender, obedience, discouragement, provision, unmet expectations, peace, and faith in the unknown.
Whew. What a ride, yeah?
And now, we land here:
Rebuilding.
Not the shiny, Pinterest-perfect kind.
But the honest, slow, tear-wiped-from-your-eyes kind.
The kind that happens in the quiet corners of your day, when the kids are finally napping or the house is still—just for a moment—and you find yourself wondering...
Who am I now?
What comes after the dream dies or the title is gone?
That was me after Fire Academy.
I had fought. I had prayed. I had believed with everything in me.
And when the dream still slipped through my hands, I was left sitting in the rubble.
Not just of a job, but of who I thought I was.
As a mama who’s used to pushing through and getting things done, I wanted to fill the space. Fast. I wanted to do something—anything—to feel like I still had purpose.
But God didn’t ask me to hustle my way out of it.
He asked me to sit.
To trust.
To let Him work.
It was uncomfortable. I’m not gonna lie.
Rest? In the middle of feeling broken and confused?
That felt backwards.
But rebuilding doesn’t happen in the hustle.
It happens in the stillness.
In the slow, the humbling and the quiet.
It’s not flashy. It doesn’t always come with a neat little timeline or clear finish line.
It looked like laughing with my kids again.
Rediscovering joy in homeschool projects.
Getting my hands dirty in the garden.
Journaling through the ache.
Letting go of the need to “be” someone, and instead learning to simply be me—without the title, without the applause.
Because when you are Rebuilding, He’s not only working on your plans.
He’s working on YOU. And that means he’s taking the time, intention and love to do it.
Here’s what I began to see:
There were things I was holding onto—deep, hidden things—God wanted to gently burn away. And not because He was mad at me. But because He loved me too much to let them keep weighing me down.
I didn’t realize I had picked these up in childhood and carried it into adulthood like invisible weights.
Here are a few of them…
💔 I was tying my identity to performance.
Since I was a kid, I believed that if I performed well, I’d be noticed. Loved. Valued. That old Turkey Trot story? It shaped me more than I realized. I learned to chase success—not because I wanted the prize, but because I craved the cheering.
🏆 I was tying my worth to achievement.
As a daughter, sister, student, and later a nurse, entrepreneur, firefighter-in-training… I chased the gold stars. I loved feeling productive. But deep down, I thought I had to earn rest, earn love, earn space to just be.
📉 I was tying my confidence to visible outcomes.
If I was winning, I was confident. If I wasn’t, I questioned everything. This played out big in the Fire Academy. I couldn’t let myself be okay with “trying”—I only saw value in succeeding.
💵 I was tying my value to income.
Even as a stay-at-home mama, I tried to create ways to “earn my keep.” Because if I wasn’t bringing in money, I felt like I wasn’t contributing. When I started Fire Academy, I felt seen again… and when it ended, that feeling disappeared too.
But here’s the beautiful, unexpected part of it all:
God didn’t leave me there.
He used the fire to strip away those lies.
He gently reminded me:
✨ That I’m still worthy, even when I’m not “doing.”
✨ That I’m still loved, even when I’m not achieving.
✨ That I’m still valuable, even when no one’s watching.
✨ That my purpose doesn’t disappear just because a title or the paycheck does.
I am His. And that is enough.
So friend, if you’re walking through your own season of rebuilding…
If you’ve lost a job, a role, a dream, or a piece of who you thought you were…
Here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear:
God isn’t sidelining you.
He’s rebuilding you.
With intention. With love. With grace.
And the purpose that’s coming from this fire?
It might look different than before.
But it will be beautiful.
📓 Reflection for this week:
Where have I been trying to rebuild what was, instead of being open to what could be?
What old beliefs or lies might God be trying to burn away in me?
How is He gently inviting me to rediscover purpose again?
Next time, we move into Part 9: Identity.
Because when the title fades and the dream shifts… who are you underneath it all?
But today, I want you to know this:
You’re not starting over.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming more whole than you’ve ever been.
And your purpose? It’s not gone.
It’s just getting rooted a little deeper.
Here’s a little creation we made out of cardboard boxes :)
With muddy hands and a heart being made new,
💛 Kawailani
Dreams, Dirt & Grace